For long time, I have hide this truth..

I'm to fear to say..

I don't know what to says..

The only things that I know, is I'm having you..

Even thought we just be a friends, but it's all makes me smile..

Sometimes I know..

Maybe you'll never be mine
I don't deserved you, you're worth someone more than me...

Never Let Your Sadness Grow Bigger Than Your Happiness

There'll be a time when we could flashback into the past, and learn from our mistakes. Never regret it, but take something to be learned from the past, and you'll be better than now. Live everyday with smiles and you're deserve the happiness.

And when you think you can't pass your sadness, try to smile, pray, hope, and give more what you can, and believe that everything will be alright as you wish. As the time passed by, we'll be wiser than we were yesterday.

Life doesn't always get along as you wish or as you want. Life may suprise you. But remember that you'll never be alone. And your problems won't bigger than your strength.

Cheer up everyday. Smile, and let the happiness comes to your life :)

Life is a Climb

Hello, this is me. The ordinary one who always think that I'm the happiest person in this world. Yes, it's true. I'm the most happiest person, but it when I'm with you.

I know, everything happened because of a reason. People changed, life's turned. I can't help it. I wish that fairytale is really true, but I'm not living in fairyland. I never regret to spending time too much with him. I never regret to loving him. I love the way he smile. I love the way he tried to cheer me up. Those comfortable and mesmerizing eyes who always said "I love you". I love all the things about him.

Wait until tomorrow and I'll be fine

Wait until tomorrow

You'll see that I'm worth waiting for

I'm right here just come on and say it

I try to reason with myself

Just think of all that life could be

If we could only capture what we've seen

(Pulling a Piano from a Pond)

- Cinematic Sunrise-

But the road isn't as clear as we wanted. There's many obstacles that we must through. But you can't survive from those temptation. You choose her and I don't mind. I'll put on a fake smile and put my head high to face the reality as the single survivor.

Then someone came into my life, right after we're broke up. He always listen to my story, he always tried to motivating me. He tried to cheer me up on my worst. And finally he could changes my fake smile into the happiest smile again. Then you blame me for everything, you blame me for the reason why we're broke up and instead of blaming yourself who choose her before we're broke up. You said I'm selfish. Isn't you're selfish too?

If I'm always stuck in the past, I think I won't be as stronger as I am now. Life must go on. I can't turn back time, but memories will lasted forever. I can't forget the pain, but I forgave you and her. Hopes God will bless you both :)

And now here I am, I've been broken but I get stronger than before. I've been on my worst, but God gave me someone to remove my sadness. 

I'll Still Dreams of Brighter Days

Hello, it's me. An ordinary girl with her own problems who always tried to smile and cheer up for the other but deep inside I'm bleeding. Sometimes I'm confused with myself, with my life. Not all of the things we wished and what we wanted will happen. And I don't wanna to blame anyone for this destiny. This is my life, my choice, and my destiny...

[Leo D. quote from the movie "Basketball Diaries":]

"You're growing up, and the rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree 

that will someday rule the Earth, and it's good that there is rain. 

It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, 

and it clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance."

I'm a kind of person who always tried to keep her sadness alone. I tried not to give up on everything. And I believe that everything is gonna be okay in the end. I didn't wish too much, just wish my life will be happier than before. That's all :)

Back Under The Stars

It's already been 9 months, and we were doing really fine.
Just little bit problems that coming into our life.
I'll never regret to know you as well as right now. You know why?
Cause my life changed when I'm met you and be yours.

It's not easy to survive until right now.
There were many pain, many things that could make me stopped.
But, I had the promise, I won't stop until my dreams come true.
And right now, I'm make it happen :)

They may said anythings about you.
They may hate you, talk the bad things about you, or what.
But I don't care. I won't care.
I'm still on my promise, to love you...
Until the end of time.
Or maybe, until when you're finding someone better than me that could brighter your days and she could make you smile, instead of me :')

If you asked me why I'm really stubborn, and why I'm try to keep you in my life,
go ask yourself :)
Why you can make me really love you?
Why you can make me comfort when I'm on your side?
Why you can always cherish me in every condition?
Why you can be this important for me in my life?
Because honestly, I don't have a reason to love you.
But I do :)

Thanks for healing my past pain.
Thanks because you're really different, you're mature, you really know me, you can understand me, etc.
But most of them all, thanks for loving me too :)


When I come undone, you bring me back again...
Back under the stars, back into your arms <3 font="">

How Does It Feel

I wish I was your only one...

Sometimes, I confused with my mind. I don't know why, or how does it feel. I'm selfish, and it's really me. I won't let anyone else to take my happiness. And I won't let anyone else to take the places in your heart. I make the promises and wishes, and I'm going to make it happen. Yeah, I will try to make it happen.

It's not easy to loving you, I knew, somebody out there might like you and loving you too. But I keep trying, try to survive and hold you as mine. I won't let anyone to take you as theirs. Maybe it sounds too selfish, but I won't let them, am I, huh?

If you ask me, how do I love you this much, I will ask you back. How could you make me to loving you? Honestly, at the time I met you, I never knew that I'll love you this much. But thanks for always make me smiling when you're here and when you're not here ({})

Ordinary but Precious

You may feel nothing, but you're something in my heart and my life. You gave colour into my life. You put all the things right. You completed my life. You're precious, don't worry ;) ~

Many simple things would happen into our life, and we don't know what are they, when they'll come, and how they'll come into our life. Many unexpected things would happen into our life too. Good things or bad things, who knows?

Yeah, you're one of the things unexpected that came into my life, but I'm really glad to met you and know you. You know why? Because I feel like I knew you before, and when I met you, I want to know you better :). And I thought you'll never be mine. But I surprised when you said you like me and you love me :). Je t'aime, Wil  :)

I knew, I'm ordinary, or maybe worse than ordinary. I made a lot of mistakes, I can't make everyone that I love happy, and I know, sometimes you dissapointed with me. I'm really sorry. But I've always try my best. Try to makes and write down our story, so that'll no sadness inside them. I always want to see your smile, it gives me the encourage to survive on this life.

That's not easy to passed the days when you feel rejected and ignored. But you were here next to me, support me, and I know that I can survive. And I'll build my home with you later. The really "home", when the peaceness exist and we'll live happily ever after together :)

Maybe you said that you had nothing and you do nothing. But believe me, that you had many things that no one else had. The important thing is my heart ;;), I believe you'll take care of my heart. You're precious ~

Imakta Family

After passed the written test, interview test, Diksar, and this is Diklan. We're going to Strawberry Camp, Puncak Raya to implement the Diklan. That three days was very amazing, unforgettable moments. I'm so glad to be the part of them :). I feel, we're so close. Like a family...

I am a Mediners, and I'm so glad for it :)

Let's make M for MEDIN !!! :D

Yesterday is our first meeting...

Today is Party Ganjil Imakta 2012. I really want to join. But I can't..

I had survive, I won't quit from Imakta, no matter if my parents and my family disallow me to join the organization.

I'm so happy to be the part of them. Feel like it was a dreaming home. With the tranquility and peaceness. The peoples very kind. I can't leave them :(

If Fairy Tale Was Exist...

Do you know how its feel to get rejected by everyone?
Do you think how its feel, if you must leave all the things that you loved much?
And when you have tried so hard, you must leave all the things that you've tried?

I know it. Yeah, I know it. It's so hurt. The scars isn't as hurt as those damn things.
I believe in happiness, but why? Why I never get the happiness?
The only happiness for me is him. I didn't need someone perfect, or what. What I need is someone who can perfectly complete my life, with all of his strengths or weaknesses.
Is fairy tale exist? I don't know. But I really wish it was exist..
I will break the rules, face the consequence, and face everyone who ignored me. And show them, who I really am.


You're my inspiration, my only strength. I wish you were here, supporting me to face this world. I didn't want to see you sad, that's why I'm lying. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I wish everything will be okay. I can't stand a fight with you :(. Someday you'll understand...

Doesn't matter when, it's always a good time then. Doesn't matter where, it's always a good time there ~
Yeah, I believe that. And I wish I will passed my problems. Wish me luck, dear :)

This Is The Beautiful Life ♥

This is the beautiful life, when we can share each other. We could be together as we're now. And I don't want to forget all of those memories. To be with you all is what I desired...

This is our photograph when we play Ice Skate on Ice Rink, Taman Anggrek Mall :)

I want to passed my young life with you all guys. I remember all the times we shared each other, laugh together, smile together. It's all the best things I had until this time...

We're wearing Angry Birds T-Shirt. A weird thing, but I'm so happy to be weird with you all, guys :D

We're smiling together, have fun together. We were meant to be together. As long as we could :)

We're hanging out together, everywhere!! Love you guys. And this is our group girlband. LOL!! ;)

Yup, this is our group boyband. LOL!! They're cool and awesome..

And we're collaborating as you can see...

This is the part of us, FRM. We're as crazy as you can see ;)

We gave suprise to Riki when he celebrate his 18th birthday.

We gave a surprise too for Janice, on her 17th birthday.

Between all of those memories with all of my friends, there were someone special on it ♥


Life is a climb, and when you reach the top, the view is great. The best things of this life is knowing that we're meant to be together, as long as its possible. And soon I hopes that everything will last forever.. All those sweet memories with you ♥

My life becomes brighter when I'm with him. I didn't have a word to describe it, there's too much good time that I spent when I'm around him..


“Remember what things make you special and embrace those because there are so many things that aren’t on the outside that are so important and people find so beautiful.” - Miley Cyrus



For a long time, I've been feeling the pain, misery, and sadness. But you came into my life, and changed everythings. Everything is be better than before. I wish we'll be together until the end of time. Because for me, you're the best things on my life. The precious gift from God. God was amazing! He knew my needs, and He gives me you, that always encourage me. Thanks for being here for me ♥



And that's all the story about my new life on the university. I hopes we'll never forget this time when we're working or until we're old. We gonna remember this time. Love you guys, FRM ♥

Sorry

Gue tau, gue emang bukan orang yang sempurna, ga selamanya gue bisa selalu ngikutin apa yang lu suruh, apa yang lu mau. Kali ini maaf, kalo gue bener2 ngeberontak, gue terlalu jujur tanpa mikirin perasaan lu. Tapi semuanya karna gue cape tetep berusaha jadi seperti yang lu mau, tanpa mikirin apa yang gue butuhkan dan gue mau. Hidup gue terasa datar kalo gue tetep cuma ngikutin jalan yang lu kasih, tanpa gue mengexplore sendiri siapa sesungguhnya diri gue. Pada akhirnya lu cuma bisa diem, gue ga tau apa yang lu pikirin waktu lu terdiam. Apakah lu benci sama gue, atau lu kangen gue yang dulu, atau apalah, gue ga tau, cuma lu yang tau.

Ada saatnya dimana lu mesti ngerti, waktu udah berputar, dan lu mesti ngerti kalo nantinya gue berubah karna waktu dan karna gue udah beranjak dewasa dan gue udah punya jalan berpikir, cara, dan hidup gue sendiri. Apa lu ga rela kehilangan diri gue yang dulu atau gimana, gue juga ga ngerti. Gue pengen nelusurin hati lu, buat tau apa yang lu rasain, dan gue pengen nelusurin pikiran lu, biar gue tau apa yang selalu lu pikirin tentang gue.

Apa lu ga sayang sama gue? Gue yakin lu pasti sayang sama gue, tapi ga bisakah lu mengerti keinginan gue? Simple kok, gue cuma pengen lu ngerti aja, gue mau nentuin jalan hidup gw sendiri, emang masih perlu diarahin juga sama lu, tapi buka berarti lu yg mendominasi hidup gue. Kalo lu bisa berubah seperti itu, gue akan jauh lebih menghargainya.

Gue cuma manusia biasa yang ga bisa ngapa-ngapain, gue cuma bisa berharap sama Tuhan, kalo jalan gue dilancarkan, dan segalanya akan baik adanya. Gue berharap Tuhan bisa ngebantu gue buat bikin mama ngerti, dan bikin mama tetep sayang sama gue tanpa ada perang dingin kayak gini. Gue cape, selalu nyimpen segalanya sendiri, dimana arti sebuah keluarga kalo gue ga bisa berbagi sama mereka? Apa gunanya gue berada dalem keluarga kalo gue mesti ngestuck di diri gue sendiri, tanpa ada support dari mereka, cuma ada pressure dari mereka. Gue harap Tuhan bisa bantu ngerevolusi keluarga gue menjadi lebih baik lagi.

Curhat

Gw udah ga inget kapan terakhir gw ngerasain yang namanya kebebasan sebelumnya. Baru belakangan ini setelah gw udah kuliah, terpisah dari orang tua dan adik gw karna jarak, gw baru mulai bisa ngerasain kebebasan lagi. Gw cape dianggep kayak anak kecil terus, gw udah gede, udah kuliah, gw mau lah diperlakukan layaknya orang yang udah dewasa. Gw bisa bedain mana yg bener dan mana yg salah, gw ngerti apa jalan yang gw pilih, meski terkadang emang ga semuanya berjalan mulus. Tp gw pengen dihargain, pengen dikasih kebebasan layaknya orang lain. Layaknya temen-temen gw. Dan soal urusan cinta, suka, benci atau apapun, gw rasa itu wajar-wajar aja, karna gw udah gede, udah ngerti cinta, udah tau apa itu sakit hati, dan gw udah lebih mengerti hidup.

Gw pengen kayak temen temen gw yg laen, yg bisa cerita sama nyokapnya layaknya sahabat, sedangkan gw? Gw ga pernah berani cerita sama nyokap, karna gw tau nantinya gw bakalan diomelin, bakalan disalahin, dll deh. Gw pengen cerita k nyokap, apa aja yang pernah gw jalanin selama ini, seneng sedihnya gw menjadi seorang remaja, tapi gw ga pernah bisa. Gw pengen dipeluk sama nyokap, gw pengen disayang layaknya anak kecil yang mau disayang sama mamanya, gw juga pengen itu semua. Gw bersyukur, dengan sifat mama yg agak keras sama gw, gw ga jadi cewek yg manja, gw bisa jadi cewek yang mandiri, dan gw bukan jadi cewek penakut, tapi pemberani dan emang gw tumbuh menjadi seorang cewek yang bisa dibilang agak tomboy, tapi gw juga pengen dimanja sesekali :'(.

Gw pengen cerita sama mama, tentang orang baru yang gw temuin di kampus, seseorang yang bisa memotivasi gw, yg bisa bikin gw tersenyum, gw pengen berbagi sama mama, pengen minta pendapat mama, pengen curhat, pengen cerita, dsb deh. Tapi gw bingung, nyali gw slalu ciut kalo mau cerita sama mama. Kapan mama bisa jadi open minded? Kapan mama bisa ga terlalu overprotective? Gw emang cewek satu-satunya, gw ngerti kenapa dy ngejaga gw banget, tapi gw pengen punya kehidupan yang sama layaknya temen-temen gw. Bukan berarti gw mau ngikutin jalan sesat, gw cuma butuh pengertian, keterbukaan, itu doang yg gw butuhin....

Welcome to My Life

You may see, that I always smile, look like a strong girl from the outside, but everyone didn't know, who I really am. My life always full of tears, problem, but I keep smiling for the others. I never want the others know about my pain, I'll passed it alone.

I hate to falling in love, because I hate to be fall, and I hate to be hurted more. I want to live without love, but I can't help it. I'm just an ordinary girl, that will always falling in love again and again. Even though I know, that maybe I'll be hurted again.

On the home, I feel it's like on hell, but I can't help it. Too much pressure, overprotected, possesive and many more, I always feel that pain. But I keep being strong, didn't want to give up. I ignore the others, and be a quiet person in the house. I doing my world, playing, gaming, listening to music, designing, singing and many more, just to makes me more comfortable in the house. But I keep quiet, I didn't want to talk. And this is the real me, I may be talkative on the outside, but I really quiet and don't care about anything on the home.

The last things that you must know about me, I'm easily falling in love, but hard to forget it. And my heart was fragile, easily broken. I hopes someday I'll find someone that will love me as the way I am, and accept anything about me. But I know, it'll be someday...

Motivasi Diri : Berani Maju

Hidup itu penuh dengan warna. Ada kalanya kita dapat merasa bahagia, sedih, kesal, kecewa, tetapi semua itu pasti akan kita lalui seiring waktu yang berjalan. Hidup itu bagaikan roda yang terus berputar, berputar tiada henti dan tanpa arah yang menentu. Begitu pula dengan hidup kita, kadang kita akan berada di atas, dan akan juga berada di bawah. Kita akan merasa senang, dan kita juga akan merasakan sebuah kesedihan, semuanya tergantung bagaimana kita menyikapi hidup kita. Bagaimana kita menerima hadiah yang berharga yang telah diberikan oleh Tuhan kepada kita. Selalu berpikir positif adalah hal yang akan menyelamatkan kita dan selalu bersyukur pun akan membuat kita lebih menghargai hidup yang kita punya. Dan selalu tersenyum dalam mencapai semua permasalahan dalam hidup kita, niscaya permasalahan itu akan hilang dengan sendirinya karena ia merasa kita tidak dapat digoyahkan.

Tidak setiap permasalahan dapat kita hadapi, tetapi jangan jadikan permasalahan sebagai alasan diri kita untuk mundur atau hanya bertahan pada keadaan yang ada sekarang ini. "Life must go on", kita harus dapat maju, sekalipun keadaan mencoba membawa kita mundur. Kita harus berani melawan arus dan ombak yang akan menghempaskan diri kita. Berjalanlah, dan majulah seakan tidak ada badai yang menghadang. Beranilah mengambil resiko dan tetap mencoba, jangan menyerah. Menyerah tidak dapat menyelesaikan suatu masalah, tapi menyerah adalah tanda kalau kita benar-benar gagal, tanpa harapan. Lebih baik kita mencoba terlebih dahulu, meski nantinya mungkin kita akan gagal, tetapi kita akan mendapatkan pelajaran yang sangat berharga dari sebuah kegagalan itu. Kegagalan itu akan menjadi guru bagi kita, dan pasti kita akan berhasil dengan belajar dari kegagalan yang sebelumnya.

Mulailah memotivasi diri kita untuk tetap maju, jangan biarkan badai menghalangi langkah kita untuk maju. Tapi tunjukkan pada dunia, kita adalah orang yang memiliki prinsip dan teguh pada pendirian kita ^^

My Life on University

Welcome to my new life, university life! :)

I'm studying accounting at Tarumanagara University Economy Faculty, West Jakarta. Hello anyone, my name is Melisa ^^. I had many wishes, I like to writing some short stories, poem, and many more. I think my talent was on literature I like to singing too, sometimes I like to writing some love quotes that crossed on my mind, and write in on my tumblr. I like to make some postcard with the envelope, poster, and I can edit video and mix music too. I want to learn piano or electric organ maybe, but my mom didn't want me to.

Why I choose accounting program on my study?
For the first time, I hate accounting. Too much numbers, makes me dizzy .__. But my parents want me to be an accountant, it's easy to looking for a job. Even the salary is not much, but I can applied that technic on my future life then. My talent is not on accounting, but I'll try to be success and make my parents proud of me, that's my highest goal :D. I wish I can be as they want me to :(.

Finally, I don't know what I must tell on there. Maybe I want to tell you all about my class on this first level of university. I went to LY Class, I had many classmates that really nice, funny, crazy, but the most of all, I love them all, all of my classmates :). I hopes, we can get best score and we'll graduate on the best score too :D

The last, I want to apologize, if there's a word that's wrong, or what. And my english is very bad. Sorry for that, I'm not good at English.

Just Saying :')

LOL!! It's make me laugh to know how the promise could broke easily. Know that you're not here as i want you to. But you always blame me, like that's all was my fault, like you're innocent. But the truth will tell everyone, who's right. And when you know that, it's too late for you to regret it. That someone could make me smile now.

I didn't want to be selfish. Even I ever be selfish. I never blame you if you can't do like what I want. I never thought you to be anyone else. I love who you are, but you never understand. If I can't be what you want me to, you'll blame me. You'll be silent and I know, you mad at me. I can't do anything, just wait until you don't mad at me.

I didn't want to stuck in past. I want you to learn something. Don't be selfish please. And don't hurt another girls heart and love. Or you'll regret it later...

Precious Gift

I ever don't believe a man
and I ever know, how heartache was so hurt
I think all the man on this world was same
They hurt the woman, and never know when the woman feels very hurted
and they'll leaved the woman

but now, I don't have the reason to thinks like that more
He makes me believed, that he really different from the others
He makes me smile, when I feel so sad
He cheer me up, when I am crying
His smile was precious for me

I don't know why or how
I could believe him in the short time
and I need him everyday and everytime
everytime, I'm gonna miss him

and now, He's mine
and hopes He'll always be mine
maybe I'm so selfish, but that's the truth, I want Him to always be right here beside me
He's give me a shoulder to cry on, when I'm in a very big problem
He support me everytime, and I'll do it back for him too

Thanks God for this precious gift
The present from You, when I feel so hurted
The present from You, when I feel that no one need me here
but everythings has changed, today was a beautiful day
and be with you was a beautiful gift :)

Kasih Sayang TULUS

kali ini, mungkin gw gag nulis tentang puisi" cinta..
kali ini, gw pgn bgd ngeluarinn smua isii hatii gw..

02.10.2010
awalnya, gw cnenx bgd.. bisa ngmpull n jj brg tmn"..
tp smuaa'a gagg brjalan mulus..
cm garaa" ssuatu..
n bqin gw malu sama tmn" gw..
entah napa, u ttepp maksa bwt ikutt..
pdhl, gw dh nolak, n blg jgn ikutt..
tp knapaa u keras kpala bgd iah?

kdg" gw bnun..
gw tw u chaianx m gw..
tp aph gw hrz dprlakukan kaea anakk TK mlu?
yg hrz adh indukk'a kmnaapun gw prgii?

gw udh 15 tahun.. bukan anak umur 3 tahun..
gw pgn skali" bbass..
gw bete tiapp hri cm d hum. d hum.. n d hum..

klo gw ttepp dprlakuiin kaea gnii, samaa ajj u bikin gw supayaa gw ttep kaea anak kecil..
n smpe umur 20th pun, gw gag bakal bisa dewasa klo kaea gnii..

napaa c, skalii ajj u gagg bisa ngrtiin gw?
skalii ajj gagg bisa nglyatt gw bahagiia?

kpn gw bahagiia slamaa ne?
cm wktu gw adh d dekett tmn" gw..

dmnaa gw hrz brnaung klo gw lgii sdih?
cm d tmn" gw..

entah knapa, skalipun gw bncii ataupun sbell m u, tp gw ttep chaianx m u..
gw ttepp bisa netesiin air mataa cm bwt u..

gw butuh kasih sayang yg TULUS..
n gagg brlbihan kaea gnii..

gw harapp, suatu harii u bakall tw ttg ne..
n gw harapp u bisa brubahh..

klo hrii ne adl harii trakhirr, dmnaa u bisa nglyatt gw lgii,
gw harapp u tw xlo gw chaianx m u.. n gw mw u brubah demii kbaikkan u..
klo harii ne, harii trakhirr gw masihh bisa brdirii d sini, msii dpatt brnafass..
1 hal yg gw mw..
U MESTI BRUBAH.. jangann slalu pny pmikiran kaea orgg dlu lgii..

Tears

just tears who get out from my eyes
that can makes you trust on me
to see your face is what i need
to see your smile is what i want

never understand what u want
but i will always keep trying
keep u beside me
always beside me

i never want u to go away from me
cause i want u know something
there's a feel in my eyes
there's a feel on my heart

keep your shadow on my mind
keep your smile on my dream
cause i don't want to forget u
but i want u to always on my heart
until the end of my time

with love :)

All About Love

I've ever dreamed
my future will have a happy ending
likes Cinderella loves story
she can get her prince

but one thing i know
that's impossible for me
to get my prince
likes Cinderella do

I never know
someone who really loves me
i just want to find my true loves
to fulfill this emptiness

maybe i'm to young to think about loves
but i had do
maybe i'm to childish to get his love
but i'll do
and i'll keep trying

i'm just who i am
that need your love
and your care

don't care about what the other say
if i love u
i'll always keep that's feel

look on my eyes
open my heart
you can see
there's a love for you